Hi, I'm Nicole Myers, Licensed Professional Counselor. If you would like to know more about me or my colleagues, please check out our introductions available in video, audio or text.
The question today is: What do I do if my family or friends do not support me and my choice to get a divorce?
If you're contemplating divorce, your marriage is failing. This is going to be very difficult for you because you've been seeking support from people who are not encouraging you to do the thing that you believe you need. So, first and foremost, ask yourself why some of these people are not supporting you. Some people may not support you because of their own issues in their lives and may not have anything to do with whether or not, they understand your need in this situation. At other times, their needs might be getting in the way such as their religious beliefs or expectations for your future.
It might help you to consider what other people's perspective is and why it's bothering them. Because if you do that, some people can work with it to then understand why you're getting divorced if you talk about from how you feel and they understand it. However, if you're unable to encourage your support people to be supportive during your divorce, you may need to find other people to support you. Because not everyone is going to be happy that you're choosing divorce, no matter how badly things are going for you. They simply may not be able to understand from their perspective, the way they look at the world.
So, what can you do if you're not getting support on the home front? I strongly suggest at that point going to see a professional. A therapist is going to be able to assist you and be a support for you in a very challenging and helpful way. I say challenging because while a therapist can support you, they can also encourage you to look at things in different ways to help you move on from where you have been stuck. This can be hard work but the outcomes from learning to consider your needs in this situation and to stand on your own two feet after having been in a marriage can really help you restart. So, seeking a therapist can make a big difference for you in how you process through your marriage and get you through to the next step in your life, beginning your life after divorce or divorce recovery.
You can also seek new support people by looking for others who have gotten divorced. This can be a divorce support group, this could be simply going to different events and starting to talk to other people. You might be surprised at how many people you know who have been divorced once you really get to know them. It isn't that there's a low history of divorce in our county; in fact, we have quite a high divorce rate. Therefore, we all know many people who have been divorced or are divorcing.
Seek people who can support you based upon your needs rather than faulting you for things that may have more to do with their own struggles and seek out a good therapist who can help you work through some of these challenges so that you can come out the other side feeling recovered and ready to move on with your new single and divorced life.
Thank you for listening to today's question. If you would like to know more about divorce, or would like to submit your own question, please visit us on Facebook or subscribe to our newsletter.